Part One - Chapter One
1. Chapter One
"I was so young when I was born, My eyes could not yet see, And by the time of my first dawn, Somebody holding me.... they said," "I welcome you to Crackerbox Palace, We've been expecting you....."
- George Harrison
Cracker Box Palace" from "Best of Dark Horse"
"Bespus." ... "Bespus." .... "What" "Bespus, we need you." ..... "Bespus." "No" "Bespus, it is Earth." "No, I can't" "Can't or won't." "You know what I mean." "He needs you with him, and you love it there." "I can't deal with the pain." "Bespus you know it is not real." "It doesn't matter, I can't." "Bespus we need a Watcher, and he wants you. The Earth needs help." ... "Bespus?" Somewhat dejectedly Bespus replies, "When?". "As soon as we can." "No, I mean When." "Earth time 1956."
And so it began. A child born to a middle class family 1956, in middle America, a watcher returned. He wanted badly to have more time to recover. Lifetimes of learning contain pain and love if there is to be growth. In our infiniteness, we have all the time there is. In our hearts there is never enough.
Bespus new there would be kharma to work around, and that is part of the reason he did not want to go. But he did love the earth, it was the people he needed distance from. In the end before he went they made him a promise. One that made all the difference.
On Earth there have been many watchers. Most famous in lore is Merlin the Enchanter who guided Arthur of Camelot. But he was not known as a Watcher. A Watcher is one who guides, who sees, and one who understands. A Watcher is quiet and in the background. A Watcher wants no notice and gathers no crowd.
The symbol of the Watcher is often a Hawk or Merlin, quiet watchful, but quite often deadly.
The child born, cried terribly for it's first year, for the soul that Bespus was at that time painfully did not want to return. For the parents of that child it was a time of great trial, but in the end they were of kind heart and generous of love. Chosen well for this journey.
~
My first vivid memory came to me in my adult years of an event when I was a child not yet two in years. Standing in a crib looking to the door of my room it is crowded with strange beasts. Large eyes, short and tall, gangly and all had one thing in common. I could sense it, but could not understand it.
These creatures feared this small child. They had found the Watcher. And this meant only one thing. HE would come if he was not already here. For there is only one reason a Watcher comes. It meant their end, or at least the end of their involvement in this world. It meant the end of their attempt to take over a race and a planet. They would try to stop it, but some of them knew the truth.
And that was that they would fail. Some of them would try to stop it, and stop me, for if I helped him, they would loose. They wasted no time and began a process of intimidation and brain washing. They drilled me and I had nightmares for years. Constant drilling and pestering, trying best they could to convince my subconscious that I could not see things that I could not affect my environment. They succeeded in some fashion. I cannot affect things as I could once, but I still see. That is what I came for.
For years I had nightmares. Creatures best described as ants. Marching, counting, endless monotony. Perpetual, over and over and over. I always awoke in sobs and there was nothing to calm me, to the exasperation of my parents. It was always the same nightmare for years then it changed to a constant chase. Godzilla chasing me around my house. I suspect that I reached a state where I would not cooperate with the "ants".
They feared me and I began to understand that. I brought out of that turmoil an arrogance that took years to dispel. At puberty, it all erupted and the power was unleashed. I could mould the weather, change what people did and thought. And then I did the most unintelligent thing I have ever done.
I listened to that small voice inside that repeatedly told me that the manipulation was wrong. In application it was, in truth it was harmless games. A substitute teacher that liked to talk, was always distracted from the material he was to cover and told old stories, instead of covering lessons.
In truth I new what I was doing was not right, but I was learning to control my environment. Had I been born in the world of Lucas, I would have been trained as a jedi, I have no doubt.
Through all of this I did but one thing constantly..... I watched.
There have been many of us who came to do no more than observe what was happening here. Few have a task as well. Most who have come to watch know that the change is coming. We have to stop them. We have to stop the invaders, a major earth change it the only way and those like myself are here to carry mankind through that change.
It is a shame that our government does cooperate with them, and refuses the manner of rebellion. But you know what? It is fearful. If you pick up the work of nightmagick and learn well and are successful, they will come after you. No not the government.
They will put fear into you. Our culture has been molded by them and we have been ingrained as a society to fear use of unexplained powers. Powers we cannot have because they are impossible. They will show you how you can destroy others and those you love by accident. They will show you that you cannot control them. But it is a lie.
You can control them and you can hurt them and there is nothing they can do to stop it. We have the power over our own lives. It just takes unlearning what they and the society they cultured have taught us from birth.
It is interesting, I saw the matrix recently and it is not that far off from what is happening to mankind. No it isn't sentient machines, it is alien races using these bodies, keeping us oblivious to their activities.
They will not show themselves to my conscious mind, I would awaken then suddenly. Instead of slowly through the study of Phil's work.