Chapter I - An Autobiography

2. Part Two

I was on patrol when there was an accident involving injuries. The injuries weren't that serious but involved going to the hospital and getting a medical report to include with our report. I pulled into the rear parking lot where emergency vehicles park which is adjacent to the EMT (Emergency Medical Team) Unit area which is also where the receiving area for all emergency patients is located. As I was leaving, suddenly this EMT technician, who I had never met before, was in my face acting rather silly and wanted to know if he could go for a ride in my car. I was embarrassed. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I wanted to get away. He was rather close to me and he was radiating so much energy. He was smiling and staring at me the whole time and eventually I told him perhaps another time. He looked a bit hurt but he said ok. My partner and I got out of there. I later found out his name was Gary. Unfortunately, Gary became the talk of the accident investigators and soon the M.P.s. It wasn't that often that I saw Gary but it was often enough. For some reason he takes a real liking to me. I feel real sorry for him and I don't really like the way everyone is talking about him. One day he asks for a ride and I decide to give it to him.

He was like a little kid. Gary. Gary is Jewish by birth. He is kind of dark complected with wavy black hair that he keeps in standard military style. He has soft brown eyes and a great smile and beautiful teeth. He is a little bit on the chubby side but it just adds to his overall demeanor as an energetic fun loving kid. While we are out riding he asks me, "why are all the others (M.P.s) so afraid of me? They actually run away from me when I come near them." I replied, "Gary your mannerisms well they are a bit effeminate and the guys thing you may be gay so there is a lot of talk going around. They are afraid someone will think their queer." "Now that's their words not mine." I said quickly. Well Gary was really upset but I got him calmed down and he decided he would change his mannerisms around them. I told him it would help me since we could see more of each other if that was what he wanted. He was really excited about that. From this point, I would go up and see Gary a few times while on my shift. We would just talk about his life and I would talk about mine. He had always been asking to see my barracks room so on one of my days off I walked up to his barracks and got him and we walked back to mine. It was probably only a half-mile from his barracks and the hospital to my barracks. As we were walking, I brought up the subject of reincarnation and did he believe in such stuff. To my absolute delight not only did he believe in it but also his Mother and Grandmother were Rosicrucian ministers and teachers. I told him about my difficulty in finding any books on the subject of the occult that didn't seem full of junk. I had been to I don't know how many bookstores looking for good books and they all felt wrong. Gary began to talk of what he knew. Now I was the one ready to burst. Here was a guy who had the key to the knowledge that was locked in my awareness. The more he talked the more I knew he knew what I had been trying to get unlocked in my awareness. I couldn't get enough. Here was my teacher. When we got to my room back at the barracks, he looked around and he got real upset when he saw my altar in the corner of my room. Now let me tell you about my altar.

When I was in high school my friends knew of my interest in the occult especially since we had a group called H.E.L.L. So for my birthday, one of my best friends gave me a book on the occult, witchcraft, and demonology. Now this book was pretty much all based around how Christianity saw these subjects and all the pictures where in black and white. I took that book with me when I went to the Ft. Hood. I got the idea to cut out all the pictures and paste them on six 3x3 sheets of black poster board and I created an altar in the corner of my room. I used black painted cement blocks as the actual altar. Originally I put this really neat piece of sculpture I found on the altar. Now don't laugh too hard but it turns out the sculpture was actually a bong pipe. I know, I know, but you have to remember I led a pretty sheltered life growing up and in my town drug use was unheard of. I didn't find out what the pipe was till I got a roommate who had smoked marijuana. Anyway it was a really cool altar, although I don't think I really thought of it as such yet but it was just before I met my teacher that I did go into the center of the altar and in order to consecrate it I decided to contact the center of all negativity. I really didn't have an idea what I was doing. While standing in the center of my altar, I just suddenly found myself in this swirling smoky-grey place and asked that the energy be present here always. I didn't think it was any big deal. Gary though nearly blew a gasket. He said I would never get anywhere unless I tore down the altar. He said he couldn't teach me another thing unless I got completely rid of it. Well I wasn't really attached to it and I did want to learn more from him so I got rid of it. I kept the bong pipe though for it was really beautiful and very unique but then the company commander made me get rid of it. He knew what it was and said an M.P. couldn't have such things even if they never had been used. Oh well. Interestingly, I now know that I went to the deep lower astral region when I was in my altar. It is not surprising since the world created by Christians of demons, witches, Satan and such that was depicted in all the pictures on my poster boards help direct my conscious mind when I went to the center of negativity. I found this out about a month later when I went with a friend of Gary's and mine, another EMT medic named, Jim, to see the movie Exorcist in Dallas, Texas.

While watching the movie and the part where the demon is inside the girl having his way with her, this voice down inside of me says, "yea get her, get her" and starts laughing. Well I close my eyes there in the theatre and look down inside myself and said, "well just exactly who are you and what are you doing inside of me." It tells me it came inside when I was in the altar and it plans to stay. Well it came to me how to take care of this little hitchhiker so there in the theatre I grabbed this little sprite, pulled it out of me, and sent it on its way. It was not too happy about it but it had no choice. I suppose if I had believed in all that Christian nonsense about demons and such my fear would have given this thing great power over me but I did not. I wasn't sure at the time what it was but I knew it wasn't stronger then me. Gary told me that I was definitely going to take longer to make progress then others because I had bad karma to make up because of my fooling around with this negative stuff. Gary wasn't really teaching me so much how to do things as he was demonstrating how he could do them. He would tell me the colors of my aura and what I was feeling and he would astral travel at night and sometimes listen in on conversations my road partner and I would have. He would then tell me what we talked about the next day. I thought it was great but was getting very frustrated on the limited knowledge being given out. He did give me the names of some books I could start studying and so I dived in reading. I started questioning him more and more. I practiced meditation all the time and started trying to see auras. One day the big event happened when I was in Gary's room with Gary, Jim, and myself.

I was looking at Gary and Jim trying to see their auras and suddenly my Night Eye opened. It was so awesome. I was so excited. Gary played it down and I was a bit disappointed. It started to become obvious to me that Gary wasn't so much interested in teaching as he was in impressing others in his abilities. It was also about this time that Jim was also becoming interested in studying with me and trying to learn from Gary. He also noticed that Gary wasn't interested in teaching but in constantly displaying his abilities for us and how we couldn't compete. I had been working really hard and it was approaching my birthday. I knew something special was going to happen on my birthday I just didn't know what. I asked Gary about it but he had no comment. The day of my birthday I was out on field duty.

It was very rare for our company to ever go out to the field. It just wasn't really part of our company's mission to be in the field and even more rare for me since I was on independent duty from my company. But as it happens, my company had to go to the field on a training exercise. It was so cold. I had a tent of my own and crawled into my sleeping bag and said, "Happy Birthday, Phillip." What a great way to spend a birthday. I had just started to fall asleep when suddenly I was seeing up into this really bright-lighted sky. I could see what looked like this Christ figure up in the sky. As I was watching, the Christ figure slowly started to descend towards me and kept getting closer and closer till I could see its face and I was shocked because I was looking into my own face. It kept coming towards me and entered into me, I became warm all over, and I heard its voice tell me, "You are the Christ." I was thinking, "wow just what does that mean," and fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up and couldn't wait to get back to see Gary to ask him what it meant. It was a long day but it finally ended and I got back into my barracks, showered, and went to see Gary.

I explained to Gary what happened and he told me about the Christ Self which stands between our Godself or Oversoul and us like a guardian angel in a way but when you have progressed far enough on the spiritual path you take the Christ birth (which is what happened to me) and begin your journey toward becoming the Christ Self. It is also a sign that I had become accepted into the White Brotherhood as a probationary member. The White Brotherhood is made up of all the Souls who make conscious effort toward spiritual advancement and helps others to achieve the same. It was also right after this that I got to meet Gary's mother and grandmother for they came to Ft. Hood to see Gary.

Well it began accidentally by my coming over to see Gary at his room. When I walked in there was his mother and grandmother. I have to say they were the most charming women I have ever met. I fell in love with them instantly. They were so easy going. I could tell where Gary got his looks. They had beautiful dark skin, black wavy hair, and lovely dark eyes. They both radiated warmth, love, and happiness. I never saw Gary so happy as when he was around them. I knew he absolutely worshipped them especially his mother. Before I left the room, his mother invited me to go out with them for supper that night and I gladly accepted.

I don't remember where we went to eat that night but I know it was a lot nicer then I could afford. You don't get paid much when you are in the Army. The meal though was taken care of by his Dad who had done all the driving and I hadn't met earlier because he stayed back at the hotel room. The table sat in this dinner nook and the lights were dim with candle lighting all around us. It was very private and elegant. I wasn't used to this kind of treatment and never experienced it while growing up. It was really a night to remember. We talked about spiritual things and his mother told me some of what she saw in my aura and what she saw in my future. We laughed a lot and everyone had a really good time. All too soon the evening ended and they had to leave the next day for home. It was after this that Gary and I started to drift apart.

Jim and I were spending a lot more time together meditating, studying, and trying to grow spiritually. We invited Gary but he rarely wanted to join us. He had tried originally to keep Jim and I from becoming friends but that didn't work. It was almost time for Gary to leave the service, while I still had a year to go and Jim still had a couple of years to go. Jim and I decided to get a place off post so we could get away from Army barracks living. Then the worst possible thing happened. Gary's mother died of natural causes. It was totally unexpected. Gary was devastated. He flew home for the funeral. He drove back in his mother's car. When I saw Gary, he was not the same. The light had gone out in his eyes. Luckily he only had a couple of weeks left before departing from the service. He spent it doing all the things you have to do before departure. He stayed with Jim and I his last night in the service and left for home the next day. In the meantime, Jim and I decided we couldn't afford the trailer we had been living in. The cooling bill was killing us because there was no insulation. We decided to move to a duplex on this ranch where a co-worker of mine and his family was living.

It was a huge ranch and the owners decided to put some rental properties on it to make some money. The place was arranged like a capital L. The short end had the quadplex (that's two living units below and two above), and then the long end had a house, duplex, and duplex. We had the last unit of the last duplex. It had a nice living room, small kitchen, one bath, and two bedrooms each having a sliding glass door and porch. It was a lot cheaper then the last place and as I said earlier, my co-worker, who was also a good friend, lived with his family in the house. Some neat things happened while living in this house.

One day a couple of packages arrived that weighed a lot. I hadn't really heard much from Gary since he had moved back home. I opened the package and in them were all these books on various spiritual subjects. Books that were very old and some I knew were impossible to find in the stores. He sent me a note and said he decided to give me all of his mother's books. I was blown away. I couldn't believe what he had done. To me it was an incredible gift. As you can imagine I began at once to read like a mad man. I devoured book after book after book. What a delight it was. Even so, I bought a little book that interested me. Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach.

I even went to see the movie based on the book. I also bought the record of the songs from the movie. I am a big Neil Diamond fan. I had read the book any number of times. I had read it carefully and thought about what it said in relation to thought controlling our reality. One evening I was in Jim's bedroom and we were both laying on his bed listening to his music. I was lying on my back and he was laying on his stomach looking at me. I closed my eyes and thought about what I had read in that little book and suddenly I knew that I truly was unlimited pure thought. My body was not a body but was pure thought and such could go wherever thought could go. I therefore wanted to be on the roof and put myself/thought above the roof. ....I was there.

It was night. I could see the sky all around and the stars above. It was so awesome. I became aware of myself and I looked like little points of energy in rapid movement. I thought well its time to get back and thought back to the bed and then I was on the bed. I opened my eyes and looked over at Jim. He had this funny look on his face and I asked him, "what?" He said, "well one moment I was looking at you on the bed lying there and then you were gone and I couldn't believe what I was seeing and then you were back again." I then told him what I had done. It was really neat to have a witness to my first teleportation. Jim though was starting to act kind of strange.

He was getting very moody and somber. One night the door to my room burst open and he came running into my room crying my name and literally jumped into bed with me. He was hugging me for all he was worth. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he had been lying in bed when suddenly the room got very cold. He then could feel this presence get on the bed and could see the mattress indent but couldn't see anything. He then heard this moaning and insane laugh and this thing leaped onto him. He tried to scream but he couldn't. He started to bounce up and down with this thing on top of him and no matter what he did he couldn't get away from it. Finally, the thing let him up and that was when he came running into my room. I suddenly had this intuitive thought and asked him if he had been using any kind of drugs. He admitted to using marijuana at work with the other guys along with speed to help keep him awake. I told him he could not use drugs and practice metaphysics. If he did both he was opening himself up to the lower astral, something I had read in Gary's mom's books, and there were all kinds of nasty creatures waiting for him there. Jim promised he would lay off using the drugs and since we had rather big beds he stayed in mine the rest of the night since he felt safer. I wish I could tell you that Jim never had any problems with drugs again but that is not the way of it. I know a couple of years later he started selling them to support his habit and he was given a prediction of going to jail if he did not stop. I lost contact with him after that and never knew the final outcome.

As all things must end, it was finally my time to leave the service. The Army wanted me to stay in but I wanted to go to college. I should have stayed in Texas and gone to college there. It seems though that there is this tradition so I packed up my belongings and headed back home to my parent's house to go to college there. I should never have gone home.